This year’s Children’s Mental Health Week’s theme is ‘Growing Together’. I love this theme for many reasons.
Personally, I have enjoyed every single stage my children have been through, and even though there are moments when I when I get all sentimental about baby outgrowns or a transition to a big school, it is always exciting to welcome each new phase. My Florence is nearly 8 months old already and I’m not sure where the time has gone.
I had a mind-blowing moment recently when I went around a college open day with my eldest. I realized it had been 18 years since I was in sixth form myself, my biggest girl was about to start, and it would be another 16 before my littlest started!
A brief ‘what have I done?!’ moment flashed before me but I’m honestly so excited to watch those years unfurl and discover more and more about my children as they grow up.
How often do we exclaim with amazement to a friend or family member ‘He’s how old now?! How did that happen?!’
If we weren’t constantly reminded of time marching on by watching the miracle of children growing up around us, I wonder how quickly time would disappear for us as adults.
As a mama of four girls of widely different ages I know how hard it can be to put myself first and this is something I have been working on.
By giving ourselves time and space to grow, develop and create, we are not only becoming more energised, fun and happy parents to be around, but we're also demonstrating healthy boundaries for our children to follow.
Some Mental Health Stats:
· 1 in 5 young people are now suffering from a mental health issue
· Only 30% of these teenagers will be diagnosed and treated
· 1 in 12 teens self-harm
· 50% of mental health illnesses are established by the age of 14
· 75% of mental health illnesses are established by the age of 24
· Average delay between onset of mental health illness and intervention – 10 years
· Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for young people
I used to put so much pressure on myself to do all of the things - work hard, get all the housework done and keep on top of it, arrange all the extra-curricular activities, help with homework, do the shopping etc etc.
There was no time for me.
This is unsustainable, and the pressure comes from other people's stories, from previous generations, from the media, from films, from watching our mothers' behaviour growing up. All this teaches our kids is you have to work so hard you burn yourself out in order to be a good person.
You can have 'me time' AND be a great parent. You can provide for your family AND have breaks. You can look after yourself AND be a good person.
There are no prizes for the most frazzled mama!
5 Simple Steps to Grow with Your Kids:
1. Show yourself some love. Treat yourself to some pampering, some time out or just to some long overdue fun and show your children how important it is to let your hair down sometimes.
2. Show yourself some respect. There’s no point telling our daughters how beautiful they are while we self-criticise all the time. By declaring ‘I’m way too fat/old/short etc to wear this’, we’re making a much bigger impact on our kids’ self-image than we often realise.
3. Lovingly set boundaries around how you expect to be treated and demonstrate to your children that they too have a voice which deserves to be listened to.
4. Make a pledge to learn something new – a new skill or positive habit and share it with your family. Encourage them to do the same. Of course, our kids will inevitably pick something up much more quickly than us but that’s the beauty of the teenage brain!
5. Grow and strengthen family bonds by making sure everyone sits at the table together at dinner – no tech, just conversation and sharing. This is a simple and brilliant way for everyone to feel valued and respected, as well as building trust.
Whether you are a parent, an auntie or uncle, a friend of someone who has kids... what can you pledge to yourself each day this week to show yourself some love and respect, while encouraging our children to do the same?
I'm ensuring I get outside every day whatever the weather and making a point of finishing my meals without anyone demanding anything of me until I'm done.
Because setting reasonable and healthy boundaries is not mean, it's one of the most valuable gifts you can pass on to the next generation.
We all want to nurture our children to grow up to be healthy, confident, happy and successful – so let’s grow together.
Charli xx
P.S. These topics and so much more are covered in my Signature program ‘Reaching the Stars’. If you haven’t already, book in for a free Discovery Call with me here:
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